21/02/17 – I’m almost sure I’m going to fail at this

I decide to start exercising again so I won’t always feel physically ill.


18/03/17 – Intermediate yoga is too intense for me

Yesterday I did 30 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of core but I didn’t blog about it. Sue me.

The cardio was a low impact video from POPSugar Fitness – I haven’t linked it here but you can find it if you want. The instructor irritated me because his partner was assisting in the demonstration and he kept on referring to her with these baby names and it annoyed me.

I’m not a fan of pet names and while I was sweating I hated it. My core workout was supposed to be longer but I was finished.

Today my yoga workout was 45 minutes and was set at an intermediate level. I know I’m not at intermediate level (yet) so I didn’t put pressure on myself to complete some of the more difficult moves.

I was able to generally keep up with the class using some variations and I surprised myself with how much I could complete.

I think I’ve found my favourite yoga instructor. Micki Duran is strong, graceful, and balanced. I was really inspired to reach that level of control of my body.

I think I’m going to exclusively follow her yoga videos. This video pushed me in cardio, strength, flexibility, and balance without discouraging me from continuing with my workouts.

It was difficult but I want to get better. Also, she’s friends with Fergalicious Definition Make Them Boys Go Loco.

Love when we actually get see each other. #proudfriend #fergie #officialmickiduran #mickiduran

A post shared by Micki Duran (@officialmickiduran) on Sep 12, 2015 at 5:23pm PDT


16/03/17 – I work out after hitting a speed bump and things feel significantly worse

I hit a speed bump. By speed bump I mean I had an awful case of reflux, then a rest day, then two depression days where I skipped working out and working in general.

I spent those three days of rest feeling guilty because I skipped exercise; depressed because I was depressed, ineffectual because I wasn’t working on anything else, and almost entirely sure that if I enjoyed even one day I would never work out again.

Luckily for my journey, my rest days were awful. Lineo compared it to my body holding me hostage. I’ve started this way of life and now my body expects some cardio or it will self destruct. I felt like I was decomposing on those days. It was unpleasant.

I resolved to work out today and dreaded it while I babysat my niece. Once my sister returned home and after the new Monsta X teaser dropped; I had no excuse to put it off.

I completed thirty minutes of total body toning, low impact, cardio and I felt like I was going to die.

Everyone who encouraged me to get back into exercising after my big failure told me to go hard with my reentry but I tried to commit to the form of the exercises and do my best without hurting myself.

It felt so bad to start exercising again. I was slightly cheered by the fact that could complete the workout and I haven’t lost all the progress I’ve made in the two and half weeks that I’ve been doing this.

Still, I feel ungainly. I still can’t do a full push-up but I can do a plank and a half push-up. There’s a metallic taste in my mouth after this thirty minutes.

I will not lie and say that it feels good to be stretched out, in my underwear and a towel, on the floor. It doesn’t feel any good but after these two days, I see there really isn’t an alternative.


09/03/17 – ‘who says yoga isn’t cardiovascular?’ I do, Mandy for fuck’s sake

It’s yoga day but I finally don’t have blood dripping from between my legs so I thought I’d do a routine that is slightly more challenging.

I’m becoming a bit of a POPSugar fan. They’ve got many different styles and difficulties of workouts.

I don’t like the implicit body shaming in the language used sometimes.

Their videos are better than some of the faux-mindful, feathers in the fingers of the Grinch nonsense that I have waded through.

I will not follow the YouTube channel of someone who stole Christmas.

Mandy really pushed me this work out. I tried my best but it wasn’t so successful.

Just for the record, if you do this, yoga isn’t usually cardiovascular. It’s supposed to be relaxing.

I completed it so I feel like I’ve achieved something.

I’m also becoming hip to how these trainers rewire your brain to think that you’re enjoying being put through your paces.

I see all the ‘work through this and you’ll reap the rewards’ language.

My third eye is open, Anna and I still don’t enjoy the burn.

I don’t give a flying, form-perfect fuck.


08/03/17 – I am not going to be a baddie

Louisa complimented me on my persistence in exercising. She said that soon I’m going to become thin and energetic.

This is a nice thought but I doubt regular, moderate exercise is going to turn me into Teyana Taylor.


My face is so sore from my crocodile reaction┬áthat I’m still hesitant to push myself. My will to exercise is being drained through the two red patches on my face.

I found two relatively low-impact tutorials to keep up my schedule.

This POPSugar video is not difficult in terms of the cardio but the mental stimulation of the choreo was enjoyable.

I’m going to try the zumba ones next for more of a cardio challenge.

This core workout video is very good for beginners as the instructor gave useful advice to monitoring form and the difficulty was graded for people of different abilities as well.

I kept my participation up but didn’t really push myself very hard because my condition is not good today.

Fuck planks. I still suck at them.

The journey continues.