07/03/17 – I feel like a crocodile

I mentioned in passing that I’ve recently contracted a case of adult acne.

Second puberty is a trip. Never let anyone tell you your problems are the worst in adolescence.

Your problems become significantly worse in adulthood because now you have to pay for them.

Worry about car payments, medical aid payments, and then add on skin insecurities and you’ll really want to lock yourself in your room listening to My Chemical Romance all day.

Anyway, my skin has been gradually improving with prescription medication, exercise, and water. Not so much water.

I’m on a new topical cream that’s a benzioefnkaefkal peroxide or something and it has dried my skin out so my face is one of a brown gecko.

IMG_0157
Still hitting all my angles with gecko face

My face is itchy and scaly. I feel like a reptilian swamp creature and I’m still bleeding so a strength workout was not appealing today.

I did it. In my current mood the chipper, motivational attitude of the instructor, Autumn didn’t make me feel anything but apathetic irritation.

I liked it that Anna was very expressive about how difficult it was because I was at home like ‘bij me too’.

I like POPSugar’s exercises because they’re regimented into definite time frames and challenging but the language of ‘bikini bodies’ and ‘fat busting’ bothers me.

I have to keep reminding myself that I want to do this for strength, fitness, and health because as I continue exercising regularly people seem to want to pivot my attention to how I’m going to look different.

If I do eventually look more toned or slimmer that is not my primary goal.

I want to run with Zoe in Thailand and be able to do push-ups without crying.

 

 

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