My two day exercise hiccup gave me pause when it came to working out today. Logistical problems with my phone are sucking away my will to do anything but exist as a home slug.
Still, I put on my shoes, rolled out my sister’s yoga mat and completed Gym Routine 2 from my exercise program.
Doing this program made me think about how far I am willing to push myself for my goal of lasting fitness. I wondered whether I should press myself to my limits and work out into exhaustion and whether this would sabotage my long term goal. I thought that I should try but not to the extent of burning out.
This thought carried me through my workout but I fear it may have been a rationalisation for half-arseing burpees and push-ups.
Push-ups have always been my enemy. I am discovering how weak and clumsy I am through these sessions and it’s motivating me somewhat to become stronger and more graceful.
I want to be able to control my body and use my strength to do push-ups and pull-ups without being embarrassed and exhausted.
I’m so glad I’m not doing this challenge in a gym where my physical incompetence would be on display in real time to a live audience.
When I did (infrequently) attend a gym; I’d model on the stair machine and go home feeling like fraud. I’m grateful only my sister’s hounds have witnessed me gasping and falling heavily on the ground like a sack of rotten potatoes.
I felt like I didn’t give one hundred percent on my official work-out so I did a twenty minute dance choreography tutorial on Youtube afterwards.
I’m incredibly late in learning the choreography to Twice’s 2016 earworm but I needed something saccharine to lift my spirits.
I always play and dance to TT when I’m drunk so I might as well learn it properly.
Hopefully learning some dance again will help me to feel as though my body is something I can master instead of a shapeless bag of pimply skin filled with acid and expired meat.
Thoughts on learning choreo: transitioning from floor work to standing positions is currently difficult. Whether this is due to weakness or laziness is unknown.
All I know is dropping it low feels like meeting someone I knew from high school: familiar but uncomfortable.
It’s late in the afternoon now and I can definitely feel that I have done some exercise. Muscles I am not accustomed to feeling are making their presence known.
I drank water today as well. That should cancel out the Krispy Kream donut I had with my breakfast of three pork sausages, right?